Pig!

Biology day

Menorca - tuesday

Mum had a rest at the hotel while Dad walked me, Ness and Chat to Cala Blanca. It was a right scorcher. Dad's armpit sweat ruined the newspapers under his arm.

I chose our lunch venue and Dad was disgusted that I based this desision on the place having special swingy chairs.

We walked round to the beach and me and Dad had a paddle.

Menorca - monday

We couldn't find any tours to go on so we just got the bus to Ciutadella and Mum, Dad and Chat read the papers in a cafe.
I took Nessa off shopping and she had a spend up in Mango to cheer herself up.

  Back at the hotel Dad went for a rest and Chat went up to his room for a snooze aka watch the Waltons in German.

Mum took me and Ness down the beach for a swim. It was lovely.

As soon as Mum sat on the bench her friend the ginger cat (aka Fleazo) came and sat next to her.

After that the entertainment girl at the hotel gave us and two German ladies a Spanish lesson. We learned when saying how old we are we have to say an-yoss and not an-oss coz that is a rude word!

Menorca - sunday

Scorchio today. We got two buses to go to the capital.

We went on a catamaran for a tour round the harbour. Me, Dad and Ness sat up top and Chat said he'd sit downstairs with Mum (which also happened to be where the bar was).

menorca - saturday

We went to the market and Ness bought some special Menorcan sandals. She had to fight a woman who wanted the same pair as her.

Ness was embarrassed coz Mum got a balloon sword.

Then we went to a paella making workshop. There was us 5 and 2 Spanish men. The teacher lady was not impressed with my garlic chopping or with Nessa's pan shaking.

She kept saying we should look at Dad coz he was doing everything right. He said he didn't work at Cafe Angelique for nothing!

When it was ready we ate it out in the garden. Chat said he's better at making a fuss than making a paella! Dad hardly ate any of his and told the man he's more of a potatoes person.
We had icecream and special biscuits for dessert. And shots of local gin with lemon which is called a pomada.

Then Ness went and bought the shop up and chose a design for the lady to paint on her sandals.

Apparently the walk back to our hotel was meant to take 20 minutes so we thought as it was a nice day we'd do that instead of getting the bus. We left Ciutadella at 4.15 and got back to the hotel at 5.45. By the time we got there poor old Mum was saying bloody hell and making giving birth noises.

Menorca - Friday

We got the bus to Cala n Bosch. The bus timetable said no domingos so Dad said oh dear Chat's a bit of a domingo so he can't come.

Dad said we weren't allowed sunloungers coz too expensive so Mum sat on a rock and me and Dad lay on the sand for a bit. Chat and Ness went off to get drunk to cheer themselves up. When we joined them Nessa was having the biggest glass of sangria ever with chopped up banana and strawberries in.

It started chucking it down again so we had to get the bus back. Chat was necking from his big bottle of herbal liqueur.

We had another round of drinks at the hotel bar. The bar man felt sorry for me so kept slipping me little milka chocolates.

Me and Ness left the oldie three to have a snooze while we went for a coastal path walk. We ended up at a lovely little cove and sat at a bar overlooking the sea with a coke, a mango daiquiri and some crisps.

We weren't too sure what the evening entertainment was going to be because the board said White party. Ness said it sounded like the ku klax klan were coming.
It turned out to be just a chill-out music tape playing. Dad got the entertainment girl in a mood by saying is this it and where's the show and she must be enjoying not doing anything.

Ness told Dad she wants to go on a sisters holiday and he said "Don't..." and she cut in "Come back with syphilis?" and he said "No! That's not what I was going to say. I was going to say don't come back all drunk."

Menorca - Thursday

We went on a jeep safari. We stopped at a quarry, a lake and a lighthouse.
We nearly got knocked off our feet because it was so windy. There were some massive waves spraying up.

At dinner Mum had mussels and sprouts and then ate her fruit with a knife and fork while commenting that some people she was observing have funny eating habits!

The poster for the evening entertainment was for paso doble so we went to find a good seat at the outside bar near the front but then we found out it was a paso doble class - oh no! We were all going to run away but they said we could do bingo instead. The girl called the numbers out in Spanish, German and English and Ness was despairing at Chat and Dad sniggering every time she said nummer sechs.

While we were sitting there I felt something hit my arm  and when I looked down a bird had poo-ed on the sleeve of my coat - ew!

Menorca - Wednesday

   It was chucking it down with rain.

We went in to Ciutadella and had some authentic Menorcan tapas and sangria in an atmospheric cellar restaurant.

   At the bus stop Dad recommended St Ives market to a couple from Bedfordshire.

Back at the hotel Chat convinced Mum that Michael Caine's real name is Clarence Crapweasel.

We saw a man wearing a sarong and Dad said sarong weather for that.

 Mum and Dad sat on a bench with a cat while us youngsters went down to explore the beach.

Farm club